Last Football Game of his Career

He's had his share of injuries over the years.

Freshman year at Earlham. Walking off the field with Chris Shaw.

Running the ball for Riverview. He's played numerous positions, but defense has his heart. As long as he can tackle the QB he's happy.

Always takes the time to talk to friends, family, faculty and staff at Earlham. They said he's always helpful, and courteous.

He's always had a 3 in any football jersey he's worn. Call us superstitious but it's his lucky number. : )

Adam making a tackle.

Senior night with his college friends. Adam, John Metcalf, Chris Shaw & Mike Liby

Adam and his dad at the Senior Day game Oct. 31, 2009

Mom and her boy/man. Senior day 2009

Wow!! That was a long time ago. We've been watching and listening to football games for the last 13 years with Adam and today was the last football game that Adam will play. He's played hard. We've had numerous injuries over the years from broken feet, broken ribs, fractured hands, surgery on fingers, injured shoulder, knee etc... but the kid loved to play and went out every week and played like his life depended on it. He's led all of his teams with his attitude and confidence. He's been a team leader for most of his football years. We've watched him get off the line to move another teammate where they needed to be because he didn't like where they were lined up. We've seen him argue with coaches and came out in the right after the coach went and looked at film. He stands on the sidelines and gets the crowd fired up, and he gets down on a knee to pray for injured players. I can't tell you what an honor it has been to watch our young son who we thought was too small to play go out and play with integrity and determination to be the best he could be. We thank all the coaches for the love and encouragement they've given Adam over these years. He's going out with over 90 tackles for the season and 10 sacks. Way to go J!!! Mom and Dad are very proud of you.

Tears

I don't know how many times I've cried in the last two weeks. I keep thinking about the situation, replaying it in my head. I wake up in the night thinking about Layton or Eden. I can't sleep, and I can't function. I know I'm in this depression and I'm trying to get by. I try to be cheery for everyone because I don't want my pain to show. My heart feels so full of sorrow I can't begin to explain it. I cry out to God to take it away. I ask him to help me understand why I'm going through this. I ask him to watch over Ashley and her children to protect them.

Then I go through utter dismay at what was done or not done. I've written Ashley but I've now been told that her e-mail has been changed. So I am not her friend on facebook, and she's changed her e-mail so I can't contact her. If something were to happen to Dean or I, or her brother I couldn't let her know.

I know I have to leave it at the foot of the cross and I know I have to trust that God is in control of the situation, but I have to tell you my heart is wounded deeply. Each day is a new trial of rejection.

Please keep praying for us. We hurt.

Windy Tucker put this on Facebook today:
"therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. "
And she is so correct when she said some days it's just a lot harder to get dressed.

One Week

It's been one week since my fight with Ashley. No news. Dean is sad. He's made picture postcards that he is sending to Eden. He said he's going to send her one a day so that she remembers that Papa Loves Pookie Pies. Our house is very quiet, even my mom's oxygen guy said so.

I had a rough week last week. It was tough trying to pull my emotions together. But I've been praying and reading my bible and relying on God to get me through this. We're all struggling with the quiet but know God will work it all out.

Keep praying for us. We love our Ashley and her family. We would love to have contact but we know she has to work through this in her own time and in her own heart.

We talked with Aaron on Wednesday night and things are better with him. It was nice to be able to hold Evan Joseph and see how big he's getting. What a "Sturdy" little guy. He weighs a ton. Not really, but it sure does feel like it when you hold him. He loves watching football with his daddy. But don't try to sneak Sports center in there. He only likes to watch the action.

Heart Broken

Eden's hat with papa's hat. There is no "Pookie Pie" to wear it.

Eden's artwork hanging above Grandpa's desk.

There is no princess swinging on that playset.

Layton's bouncer sits empty in our living room. He loves to jump and jump and did Imention jump?

And now Eden's toys being packed away out of the living room so that we don't have to look at them. It's too hard to see all of her things and know that we are being punished by our daughter and her husband. It's so frustrating when you ask someone to do something and you count on it happening. Then when you find out it hasn't been done it's horrible. I was angry and when I talked to Ashley I let her know how angry and disappointed I was. I said things I had no business saying and so did she. Things got out of control and we have lost our grandchildren. My pain is something I'm going to have to work through. And I pray Ashley will work through hers too, but for now I've been deleted from her and Aaron's life.

I think of everything I did to make my children's life comfortable for them. I made sure that I stayed home. I tried to be a good mom and I know I've had my failures. I've certainly tried to take full responsibility for those things. I quit my job at the library to help Ashley with her precious gifts from God and I've tried my best to love them and nurture them the same way I've loved my kids. I am sorry Ashley feels that I'm a bad role model for her babies. I've tried my best to be there to support and love her throughout her life and all the tough decisions she's made. I don't know what more I could have done for her babies. I watched them, loved them, bought them diapers and formula, clothes, I fed them and gave them baths. I did everything in my power to make sure they were loved and safe.

I will continue to love Ashley, Aaron and their famlies. I will continue to pray for them and I only wish the very best for all of them. Someday I hope they will forgive me. But for now my heart is broken and all I can do is lean on God to give me the strength to get through each moment. I'm sorry that I hurt Dean and my mom in the process. They are missing the kids more than anyone can imagine. I miss my kids and I wish they could have understood my hurt. But I understand Ashley's hurt and I'm sure my words cut her deeply. I can't take back the words, all I can do is seek forgiveness.

I'm praising God that He loves me even though I'm stupid and rash. Praying that in time this won't hurt as bad as it does right now.

It's hard to have your children hurt you and not care. It's hard to take that hurt on the chin and try and recover. God tells us that we must forgive 7 times 70. That's a lot of forgiving and a lot of healing to do.

The babies in better times.

October 30th, 2009- Dean, Evan and Layton.

Grandma wanted to be able to take her princess to Disney. We tuckered her out.

Eden's artwork that we did last week. It's a fall tree using her forearm and hand and her fingerprints as the leaves. She hated getting paint on her. She kept telling me to wash it off.

Eden and Grandma giving Layton a bath. His face is priceless.

Eden working on her work of art. See.... only one figer got dirty in the painting of this picture.

Adam #35

Defensive Captain for his team.

Adam is playing hard this season and his stats certainly show it. We're pretty proud of him.

Here he is rushing in for the tackle.

He's lead blocking.

Sitting on the sidelines with a shoulder injury after Saturdays game. It was a muddy field and a hard game against Wittenburgh. They have the #3 defense for their conference. So needless to say, our defense was on the field a lot of the game.

Adam leading his team in the school fight song after a win.

One of the coaches from another team said that they specifically set their plays around Adam because they saw his stats and heard what he had done to the other teams Quarterback. Adam is leading his team in sacks and tackles. We are very proud of his accomplishments. It will be a sad time for us when he graduates. We've been watching him play since he was 8 years old. We're definitely proud of our boy/man. He's a team captain, and he's a leader in the school where he is the head of FCA. He prays on and off of the football field and in the locker room. He's visiting friends in the hospital when they are having surgeries. He's got a ministers heart. It will be interesting to see where God leads Adam in the future.

Friends

Ashley drove up to Indiana to see her brother play some football last weekend. I was glad she went since he got injured in the second half and had to go to the hospital for x-rays. Usually we have to wait a long time before we hear any news but because Ashley was there we had up to the minute updates. His knee has a deep bone bruise and he hopes to be back on the field next week. Ashley had a great time cheering the Quakers on, but they lost big time. Some of the fans said she should be there for every game and some just shook their heads. Whatever..... we are a football family and we cheer loud for our boy. We don't quit just because they're losing that's when we get louder. She got to take Adam and some of his friends out for dinner and they got to just hang out. They had fun just being themselves.

The boys are growing

Layton has started eating his rice cereal, banana's, pears and this is sweet potato. He loved it. He ate the whole jar, grinning the whole time. If you notice his hand is on my helping to get the food in. He likes to be in charge. The first time I gave him the cereal it was everywhere. I've never had a kid that was that messy, but he kept grabbing the spoon. He's 5 months now and 17 lbs and 26" long. He's in the 75th percentile for weight and the 90th percentile for height.

Here is the 3 month old. Mr. Evan Joseph. I call him Mr. serious. He's always so thoughtful. Doesn't smile a ton for me. But he hasn't been over as much as mr. Layton so I'm sure he'll get to know me and smile eventually. I'm trying not to take it personally. He looks just like his daddy. The child "farts" all the time. I call him a dirty rotten farter. : ) And he is so stinkin' solid. Holding him is like holding a bowling ball. What a precious, precious little boy. He loves to watch football with his daddy. Kelly said Aaron tried to watch the hockey game with him the other night and he cried until Aaron changed to a football game. Smart boy. I'm sure he's missing his grandma Vanda. I know Kelly is.

Here's a picture of the two little ones together. Layton is mr. happy all the time and Evan is mr. I'm thinking if I like you or not. It's just too cute to have them together. There were together yesterday and they were talking to each other. What fun.

Evan went with his mommy to her small group gathering on Sunday. Here he is loving life in Kelly Turner's arms. I'm sure he got all the loving one little boy ever needed. The ladies just love to hold him and spoil him rotten.

OK, I'm so jealous. I never get this look from Evan. This is from Karey Erickson. I just love it. What a handsome little guy!! This is exactly how Aaron looked when he was a baby. It's like de ja vous for me.