Busy-ness

They put a permanant port in her chest to be able to do blood draws and IV's for her. But when we left the hospital they forgot to pull everything out of her. They left in all the IV access tubing. Not a good thing. But I'm glad we have in-home nursing to be able to care for it.

This is the bottles of medicine that she has to take everyday. Needless to say I feel like a pharmacist. Too bad I don't get paid like they do.

This has been a crazy month. We've had a lot going on.

Mom's surgery was on December 20th and all went very well. She did really great. As a matter of fact she had an easier time with the mastectomy than she did with the lumpectomy. All seemed to go really well. She was getting up and down by herself and actually had a great attitude. We found out that the cancer has envaded the nodal fluid. So for now we are treating her with some medicine that she takes in a pill form. But she is having a really hard time with this medicine. It has caused her to bloat really bad, and it's caused her arthritis to be unbearable. We had to put her in the hospital last week due to not being able to breath. And now that we have her home she is struggling with moving and getting up and down, breathing is more labored. She seriously cannot be left alone in the house because she can't get up and down by herself.

I know I struggle because she's given up on life. She doesn't care if she's sick, she does't care to socialize with anyone. She just wants to lay in bed all day and feel sorry for herself. I find myself getting angry with her because she just won't try to come out with the family, she won't walk and do the things she needs to to help me. She's given up and so it's putting a lot of stress on me. I'm havin to pull her up off the bed to get her to move to the comode next to the bed, I'm having to roll her over in bed because she won't do it. She won't even pick her own feet up to put them in the bed. I'm exhausted and I know it's the right thing to do to help her but at some point when do I say I've had enough. I feel so guilty thinking about a nursing facility, but she isn't willing to do things for herself at all and I'm afraid I'm going to get hurt tryin to lift her 400 lb body. If I get hurt than who is going to take care of her? But I also know that elderly people just give up if they're put in nursing facilities too. So what to do?

"Let us then fearlessly and confidently and boldly draw near to the throne...and find grace to help in good time for every need (appropriate help and well-timed help, coming just when we need it.)." Hebrews 4:16 AMP

Dear Father, please order my steps and guide me through each day. Give me wisdom as I continue on this caregivers journey.

Surgery on Monday, December 20th

We went to the surgeon yesterday to get mom's staples out and to set the date for the mastectomy. We waited forever for this doctor. He's never on time. Anywho, he finally came in and looked at the staples and said we'd do the surgery the first Monday after the New Year and he'd send in the nurse to remove the staples and put on some steri strips and he left. So we were waiting in the room not more than 3 minutes and the door popped back open and it was the surgeon again and he said that he changed his mind and he wanted to do it immediately. So he said he would do her surgery on Monday morning. "What?" Well, ok. So she is off her meds again, Dean is back giving her shots until Monday. I've had to rearrange not only my schedule but Ashley's schedule to fit in this surgery. So please keep mom in your prayers as we go back to Brandon Hospital on Monday, December 20th for more surgery. This time he's going to do the complete mastectomy. No nodes, but he will take both breasts and lets hope we're done with it. After that it will be at least 6 weeks of radiation everyday and then 5 years of tomoxifin.

Papa's babies!

Playing at Grandma's house makes Eden very tired. Actually she woke up from her nap and was still tired so she climbed up onto the couch and fell back to sleep.

Eden has to be just like Papa. Dean and Eden relaxing after a long morning of playing.

Dean and his shadow. Covie loves to follow Papa whereever he goes. This time it was helping to make some breakfast.

Eden's finished Gingerbread house with Papa.

Placing a few more candies on her house

Oh, Pop it needs some more. These two are quite the team!!

Surgery Update

Sorry for not posting sooner, but I've been very busy since Thanksgiving.

Mom, had to be taken off her blood thinners one week prior to her surgery. So every night we had to go in and give her an injection in her hip. Me being a little not sure of giving one shots, I delegated Dean to this duty and he gladly took it on. We had to go to the hospital 5 days prior to her surgery to get her registered for surgery and in patient care. So, we sat and got all the paperwork, bloodwork, and took x-rays to the radiology department. On Monday, November 29th we had to be at Brandon Regional Hospital @ 5:15 am. YAWN, that was a rough one. But we made it and got her in her room. The nurse had a heck of a time getting a vein for my mama. She has small, rolling veins and they always have a hard time. It took all three of us to get one going, but finally got one. They took her up to the radiology department and inserted the wires around the tumors so that the doctor would know where to go and they brought her back to her room to wait for the anesthesiologist (sp?). He came in at 8:15, talked to her about the procedure and then wheeled her back to the OR. At 11:30 we finally got the call that she was out of surgery.

They kept her in the hospital until Thursday and then sent her home. She was still extremely weak and was almost unable to walk. She has had a rough time gaining her strength back. She is finally able to get up and down out of bed by herself but is not able to walk a long distance without help.

We went back to the surgeon this week and we got the biopsy report. It looks like there is still more cancer in her right breast and they are going to have to go back and take more. The doctors recommendation is that he do a mastectomy. Right now mom is waivering back and forth about what to do. We just need prayers that she make the decision she is going to be most comfortable with. I know God has it all in his hands and I continue to pray for the strenth to get through this. I'm blessed to be able to walk beside my mother during this tough time and be her support system.

I'm scared about what's to come next. I had already moved my mind past surgery and onto radiation and now I must get back into the surgery mode. Just pray for us as we endure more tough decisions.

Surgery on Nov. 29th

We went to see the oncologist and he was amazingly wonderful. He had come to the hospital to see mama the last time she was there. He says that under no circumstances will she be administered Chemo therapy by him. She just isn't a candidate due to all of her other health issues. He wanted to know what the surgeon had said about surgery. I told him we hadn't spoken to the surgeon that he wanted us to see the radiologist and the oncologist first and get all the approvals from other doctors. So he got right on the phone and asked him what he was thinking. He said his thought was that a lumpectomy would be the best route to go. So we immediately scheduled an appointment for the following day with the surgeon. He said that he believes that's also the best thing. If mama didn't have all the other health risks he'd do a complete mastectomy, but since she does, he wants to do a lumpectomy in both breasts. No big deal for the left side, but the right side is huge and will probably take more time and care because of the size of the tumor.
So, on Monday November 29th, 2010 I will be taking my mama into surgery at Brandon Hospital. We're scared and we're praying all goes well, but I have to bring her advanced directive with us and the fact that Dean and I are to make any medical decisions for her. Needless to say, the possibility that she won't make it is a Big one. It's hard to know that and it's even more scary to think of all the care that she's going to need after this is done. I'm trying to keep my eyes on God and know with all my being that He alone will see me through all of this. He's so good to us and He always gets us through the tough times. So if you think of it, pray for my mom Mary. Thanks!!

Sept. in-law visit

My sweet little pookie pie having a tea party with her great Aunt Donna. She loves to wear a hat and have tea. And Aunt Donna bought a box of Teddy Grahams so Eden was thrilled.

Eden's tea party.

Dean's sister Donna and Eden Rae having a tea party. Aren't they pretty with their hats?

She's always a happy camper if she can play tea party!

Eden was shy when she got here and Aunt Donna and Uncle Jerry were here, but when Donna said she had a present..... Donna was Eden's new best friend. She got gloves and a new necklace. What a pretty girlie!

My piano never gets played unless Jerry comes for a visit. I never get tired of hearing him play. Come back soon Jerry... My piano misses you. : )

Eden wasn't pleased that someone besides her was pounding on the piano. She kept telling me to make him stop. LOL What a riot.

Oh.... did I mention this is baby LaFollette #2. Don't know yet what it is, but I can't wait to find out. Due date..... May 18th. Eden says it's going to be a girl because I need a girl to play with. So there you have it.

This is how Layto plays tea party....Dinosaur style. : ) Roar.....

Covie playing with the Dino's or should I say standing in the dino box. What a boy. He climbs on everything. This child is fearless.

Mr. Evan Joseph. I love this little man. When he comes over he runs around the house looking for a jack in the box that I got him. He loves to have Grandma crank it over and over and over. He just laughs and he has the best laugh in town. But he is definitely a mama's boy. He loves his mama and when she leaves the room he panics. He loves to play with his Toy story toys. He could watch that movie over and over and over.

Dean's big sister ( or should I say only sister?) Donna Vreeland. They came for a week and we had a great time playing Domino's with them. Hopefully they got a chance to relaxe before going home to the chaos of life again.

Jerry Vreeland my favorite brother-in-law. (He's my only bro-in-law) But he is the absolute best and I love him tons. Don't get to see enough of him or to hear his witty comments, but I love his tons. Being the add on's in a family we stick together. : )

Week of Doctors

It's been a hard week. When we last left the surgeon's office, he told us we would have to see mom's cardiologist, her pulmonist, her general practioner all for surgical releases. Then she'd have to do a PET/CT scan to see if the cancer has moved to any other parts of her body. And then she'd have to see an oncologist and a radiologist. And then he'd see her back in two weeks.
That's a lot of doctors, and a lot of waiting and not knowing. Mom is already having sleepless nights and anxiety attacks. It's a lot for her to have to try and cope with.

So, I got home and started calling all the doctors to set up appointments. So, on Monday we started seeing doctors. Monday was her cardiologist. He spent a lot of time listening to her heart and checking everything. He's concerned about her breathing and her lungs. But he released her with concern. Tuesday was an extemely hard day for her. It was a 4 hour day with the PET/CT scan. She is a large lady and we didn't know if she'd fit in the tube for the test. But we got it done and hopefully they got some good pictures of her brain down to her mid thigh area. If the cancer has spread they won't do the surgery. Why put her through that when it's already there in her body. So we're worrying about that. Then Wednesday we went to the pulmonist. He listened to her lungs and gave her an ok for surgery also. Mom was happy because she got to have a break on Thursday and got to rest most of the day. Friday morning we took her first to her GP. He took one look at her and sent her immediately to the ER. We spent all day and most of the night at Brandon Hospital. Mom was admitted for heart failure. And there she stays until maybe tomorrow. I was able to have the oncolgist visit her in the hospital and her Hosp. doctor whom she loves is having a psychiatrist come see her today. He's worried about her anxiety. So that's where we are with the doctors and the cancer.

Still more waiting. We're in this about 6 weeks already. Still no answers, and a lot of worry and anxiety ahead. God is in control and I pray that He helps to relieve some of this stress we're both feeling. I know I'm more calm, but that's because I know I can't change it or make it better. But for my mom she's just not doing very well.