Random

Our little miss playing on the playset in the backyard.

She was laughing so hard. she was taking her Easter Eggs and rolling them down the slide and trying to get them in her sand bucket. Her and Dean always wear a hat in the backyard when they are playing to keep the sun off her face. It's either this one or Adam's cowboy hat. What a girl.

Mr. Layton Cove Jennings 3 weeks old.

Awe... he's a peaceful sleeper. He moans a lot in his sleep.

He always has to have one hand up next to his face. What a boy.

I wanted to look at the little guy so I lifted his blanket to look and he popped open one of his eyes and growled at me. This boy hates to be cold. He loves to have his little beanies on his head, socks on his feet and he wants to be all swaddled tight. I'm sure it's because there's no fat on his body and he's cold, but man it's so funny how he growls at us.

Dean is planning on doing one of the story times at VBS next week. I signed up to do registration. We'll see how that goes. : ) I'll try and take pictures to post of the festivities.

I've been busy running mom to all kinds of doctors appointments. She had two last week and so far three this week and I still have to go take her for a blood draw. I have to say I'm just exhausted doing all the things I have to do to keep her living. Trying to keep up with all her medications, the machines and trying to load her in and out of places just has me tuckered out. Part of me thinks it would be easier if she went in an assisted living facility. But then I know I would feel guilty putting her there, but I don't know what I'm going to do with Eden and Layton and trying to get mom to all her appointments. I literally have to pick up her legs and shove them into the car. I have to load in her oxygen, and her walker. I carry her purse, and push the oxygen while she is walking and then if she needs help standing on a scale or getting up on a table I have to help with that too. All I know for sure is that I'm so tired. Dean's parents 50th anniversary is this summer and I'd love to be able to go to Oregon with him, but I can't leave my mom alone for too long. I just feel like it's been two years of continuous work and there doesn't seem to be any relief in the near future. I just worry that if she gains anymore weight or if she continues to be sedentary that I won't be able to care for her. Even now it's taken its toll on my arm. I have tendinitis from having to lift her body off her bed, out of her chair, out of the car etc...

Please excuse the sound of this blog. I just have to have someplace to vent my frustrations. And because of my depression from not having a life I've gained almost 50 lbs. I'm terribly overweight and I know I need to lose the weight, but when do I have time to do it? I'm always taking care of everyone else.

I just keep lifting the problems to the Lord and asking him for guidance because right now I'm failing in all aspects of my life and I just feel lost. Please keep me in your prayers.